I'll Be Waiting
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: Someday never happened. Even now, six years later, it wasn’t their someday. There were days though. And this was one of them.  JP. Implications of LP.


I own nothing.

Okay soo, I was listening to the song "I'll be waiting", by Lenny Kravitz and I just thought of this. I think it will be self-explanatory, but I'll explain it at the end. 

I suggest that everyone download this song; its amazing lol.

* * *

_**He broke your heart  
**__**He took your soul  
**__**You're hurt inside  
**__**'Cause there's a hole  
**__**You need some time  
**__**To be alone  
**__**Then you will find  
**__**What you've always known**_

He had done his best the past few years. He took night classes and eventually became a teacher. He taught psychology at the local high school. His daughter was currently enrolled in one of the best elementary schools in Georgia. He had great friends and was happy.

Well, he was as happy as a lonely man could be. He loved the friends he had and of course he loved spending time with his daughter, but he wouldn't deny that there was something missing. Companionship was that something. He hadn't had a decent relationship since a certain blonde walked away from him all those years ago. Not that he could blame her; he had basically pushed her out the door.

He dated of course. Had a few drinks here and there. Maybe dinner and a movie. But nothing lasted. It got to a point where Nikki was offering to set him up with someone. That's when he knew he was in trouble.

He sighed as he stood and walked in the direction of his study. Tonight his date was a stack of final's that needed to be graded. He walked past the front door and stopped when he heard the gentle tapping. He furrowed his brows as he unlocked the large oak door.

"Peyton", at the mention of her name the blonde collapsed in a fit of sobs right into his arms.

"_I'll still be here, and if it's meant to be, we'll be together", he did everything he could to sound strong.  
_

"_Someday", she whispered as she leaned her head on his chest._

Someday never happened. Even now, six years later, it wasn't their _someday_. There were days though. And this was one of them.

_**I'm the one who really loves ya, baby  
**__**I've been knockin' at your door**_

He stared at her sleeping form. Her blonde curls were stuck to her damp cheeks and the natural looking makeup she had worn made lines down her face. A garbage pail was at her side because last night she cried so hard she got physically sick. She had his old Ravens sweats on and even though the situation was less then favorable, he smiled.

She whimpered in her sleep and he returned to her side.

"It's okay", he soothed her.

"I love you", she mumbled.

He held his breath and closed his eyes. He sent a silent prayer to whoever would listen.

"I love you Lucas", she whispered as she snuggled closer to him.

No matter how often that happened, he could never stop the sinking feeling in his chest.

_**And as long as I'm livin'  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**As long as I'm breathin'  
**__**I'll be there  
**__**Whenever you call me  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**Whenever you need me  
**__**I'll be there**_

He wasn't surprised when she showed up. Not even shocked or confused. This had become an occurrence over the last few years. She would show up randomly. Always managing to pick a weekend when Jenny wasn't with him. He was grateful for that. He didn't know how he would explain the situation to his eight year old daughter.

Looking back, that might be the reason he didn't really date. He was ready to go out that first night; then she showed up. He took it as a sign from God. Deep down he knew that wasn't the reason, but it was better then the truth.

It started about five years ago. She showed up on his doorstep with a smile that he saw right through. It took all of ten minutes for her to crumble. He had cheated. The 'great one' as Jake would bitterly call him when he drank with friends; had committed the ultimate betrayal.

It was drunken college hookup. Some girl from his Literature class. He told her he was just scared about being married that young. He swore up and down that it would never happen again.

The second time it was his publisher, Lindsay. Jake didn't even think she was attractive. She had a big nose and an annoying voice. But that might have been him being biased. Again he promised her it was a moment of weakness. They had been fighting a lot and he took out his frustrations in the wrong way.

Then it was Nathan and Haley's nanny. She was nineteen and by this point he was twenty two. To top that off, Nathan had walked in on it. He left the house with a black eye and a death threat. But, like always, it was never going to happen again.

And yet, here she was two years later.

_**I've seen ya cry  
**__**Into the night  
**__**I feel your pain  
**__**Can I make it right?  
**__**I realize  
**__**There's no end in sight  
**__**Yet still I wait  
**__**For you to see the light**_

"So, who'd he sleep with now?" Jake asked bitterly.

Her green eyes met his darker ones and she sighed.

"Jesus, Jake", she scolded painfully.

"Am I wrong?" he challenged.

She put her head down in shame. She knew she wasn't being fair to Jake. She came into his life and left it as she needed. It wasn't what he needed.

"Who was it Peyton?" he pried.

"Brooke", she barely breathed out.

Jake's head snapped up to meet her sad eyes.

"What?" he asked in complete shock.

"Yea", she laughed cynically, "that reaction's a little played out."

"I'm so sorry", he said deeply as he placed his hand over hers.

She nodded her head. Truthfully, she was sick and tired of people telling her they were sorry. She was tired of people feeling sorry for her. But, when Jake said it . . . it made everything seem okay. If only for that moment.

"Did he tell you?" Jake asked.

"I wish", she said truthfully. Jake furrowed his brows.

"I kind of walked in on it", Jake's mouth hung open.

"He—they did that in your house?" he asked incredulously.

"Yea, I left work early because I wanted to surprise him with Jimmy Eat World tickets. They were in the studio and well, you know that I've worked with them forever; they wanted to say thanks. So I packed up and took off for home, needless to say, I got a little surprise of my own", she attempted to joke.

Jake stared at the girl he once called his. He couldn't believe she put up with this type of treatment. He couldn't believe Lucas would put her through that.

_**I'm the one who really loves ya, baby  
**__**I can't take it anymore**_

"Have you talked to either of them since?"

She shook her head. "Brooke called like seven times, but I ignored it. I don't think I can ever talk to her again", she said honestly.

"So, you'll take Lucas back, but cut her out?" Jake asked heatedly, "that doesn't seem fair."

"Life's not fair", she muttered.

"Does Nathan know?" he watched as she nodded.

"What did he say?"

Ever since Peyton's first visit the two men had stayed in contact. Although, they only ever talked when Peyton would show up at his doorstep. They both agreed on one thing; Lucas Scott was an ass.

"When he first found out, he punched Lucas", she said without emotion, "then he told him to stay the hell away from me. Haley slapped Brooke", she said with a small smile, "it was the second time she hit someone while she was pregnant", she said in amusement.

"What did he say to you?"

"The same thing he always says. The same thing you always say. The same damn thing Karen tells me", she said in frustration.

"Peyton", he said sympathetically.

"I know Jake. I know that I'm better then this. I know that I deserve better then this. I just can't help it", she said in defeat.

"Yes you can", he nearly yelled out at her, "What happened to the Peyton Sawyer I knew all those years ago?" he questioned.

"She was told to follow her heart", she said simply as she stared at him.

And there it was. The reason he let her continually walk in and out of his life. Guilt. He had told Peyton to see if Lucas was really in her heart. He had sent her away and into the life she now lived. Deep down he knew that wasn't the reason, but it was better then the truth.

_**And as long as I'm livin'  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**As long as I'm breathin'  
**__**I'll be there  
**__**Whenever you call me  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**Whenever you need me  
**__**I'll be there**_

"Damnit Peyton, don't do that", he warned.

"Do what? It's the truth."

"Don't try to make me feel guilty", he yelled, "I did the right and you know it. You weren't in love with me. You were holding on to something that was familiar and dependable. And I let you!" he berated himself.

"Jake—"

"And I'm still letting you do it. I let you walk in and out of my life. I let you tell me about what an ass your husband is", he continued to yell.

"Jake please—"

"Why, Peyton? Why do you stay with him?"

He needed to know why she put herself through all of this. The tears. The vomiting. The heartache.

"I'm in love with him", she yelled over his words.

He stared at her and let her words sink in.

"After everything he's done?" he questioned painfully.

"I married him, Jake. I've loved him for years. I can't just stop", she said helplessly.

He knew the torment she was going through. He knew it all firsthand. He nodded his head before standing up and walking out to the porch.

_**You are the only one I've ever known  
**__**That makes me feel this way, couldn't on my own  
**__**I wanna be with you until we're old  
**__**You've got the love you need right in front of you, please come home**_

"Why do you let me do the things you said?" she asked in a small voice as she joined him.

"The same reason you stay with Lucas", he looked down into her questioning glance.

"Because, I'm still in love with you", he whispered as he looked into her pained green eyes.

And there was the truth. He had worked so hard and long to keep it bottled up. He tried to keep it in the pit of his soul. Locked away where nobody could ever grasp it.

"Jake", she began sympathetically.

"Don't", he begged, "don't tell me how you wish things could be different. Don't tell me that you do love me; you're just in love with him. Please, don't say any of that", he pleaded.

"I appreciate everything you do for me", she said after a moment of silence, "I don't want you to think that I just come to you because there's nobody else, there are other people."

"Then why me?"

"Because when I was eighteen you told me to follow my heart and I did", she watched as he stared at her expectantly, "now, I'm waiting for it to lead me back to you", she said quietly.

He leaned his forehead onto hers and she sucked in a breath.

"You really know how to break a guy's heart", he teased even though they both knew it was true.

"I'm sorry", she whispered as her voice shook.

"You can't help who you love."

She wished this was the guy she could love. She wished miracles happened. She nodded her head before speaking.

"Let's go back inside for a little", she requested as she cautiously intertwined their hands.

_**As long as I'm livin'  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**As long as I'm breathin'  
**__**I'll be there  
**__**Whenever you call me  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**Whenever you need me  
**__**I'll be there**_

"You're going back to him aren't you?" he asked accusingly.

She looked away from him and he had his answer.

"Peyton, you've been married to him since you were eighteen and he's cheated on you four times", he knew she didn't need reminding.

"I know. I know it's not healthy. At first I thought, you know we were young and I was scared too, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Then, with Lindsay, we were fighting a lot and I don't know, I guess I didn't wanna let him go. Then after the babysitter incident", she took a deep breath, "Well, let's just say that after that, Karen was willing to pay for the divorce", Jake couldn't help but to chuckle.

"I don't even know what she's going to do now", Peyton shook her head in wonder.

"So, what time are you leaving?" he tried his best to keep the resentment out of his voice.

She let out a shaky breath. "Umm, probably soon", she said as she stared down, "I'm gunna miss you", she said softly.

"I'm sure I'll see you again", he joked seriously. She opened her mouth in shock.

"Jacob Jagelski!" she squealed as she slapped his arm.

"I just wanted to see you laugh", she looked beautiful when she laughed. She let everything go and lived in that moment.

She felt the blood rising to her cheeks and she looked down; her curls falling in front of her face.

"You deserve so much better", he whispered as he tucked a curl behind her ear.

_**As long as I'm livin'  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**As long as I'm breathin'  
**__**I'll be there  
**__**Whenever you call me  
**__**I'll be waitin'  
**__**Whenever you need me  
**__**I'll be there**_

She smiled sadly. "Maybe I'll get that . . . _someday_."

"I'll be here."

* * *

Okay, soo I think I did justice with this.I know Lucas is an ass lol. I am an LP fan, but Jake and Peyton have a soft spot in my heart lol. Let me know what you thought. 


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